What is a father?
As a child, I never knew that
A father could be anything other
Than a figure to be afraid of,
A man that stank of danger, whiskey and
Who’d fall asleep mid conversation
And disappear for months on end.
A father was someone who’d beat on the
front door and come flying in
All fists and rage,
And he’d be greeted with the same
Upon his arrival.
A father was someone I knew I was
supposed to love
And I think I did for a while,
But loved turned to disappointment,
anger, guilt and resentment
Because although this was all I knew of a
Somewhere within me I knew this wasn’t
So what is a father?
Someone who provides?
Someone who shows you how,
Or how not to…
I’ve known many fathers since them days,
So I know now what a father should be
Yet I will continue in this life never really
What a father should be to me…
But I’m not saddened anymore.
Not all parents deserve to be parents,
Not all children deserve their
I am me because of me,
Not because of the failings of my parents
But because I know love and compassion
Where they did not.
I am a mother and father to myself,
I am my own grandparents, my own
aunties and uncles,
All I have achieved is of my making
And I’m proud of how I’ve turned out
against all odds.
Happy Father’s Day Dad,
Even though you were never really a dad